I was waiting for the day when I could say this:

I think I’m reading the Bible too much.

I feel like I can’t stop it.

But still… I can’t stop sinning.

I accidentally thought that I would become a better Christian just by reading and reading.

Maybe the words aren’t staying in my heart… or I’m just reading the words like nothing.

Should I start memorizing again? Yet ANOTHER thing to add on the list of things to do? Oyez… another text file containing lots of little verses? I guess I could put it into a TextMate project…

Well… I should be typing out my quiet times anyway.

But seriously, am I using the Bible as a means to escape actually solving anything? Is that possible?

I guess it’s better than not reading… but man, I hate being inefficient.

Must not give way to complacency… always fighting? I’m tired as it is… but strength comes from somewhere not within.

Must not give way to normalcy… making lists, and crossing things off…

Why is this so hard? Someone come knock some sense into me. Anyone?

Pray and pray and pray… and yet, things of this world continue to harass and confuse me.

Ugh. Holy frustration is still… frustration. It’s not fun at all.

But to depend… but to keep up my faith…

God, help me to focus. Give me focus and more focus. Focus in work, people, life.