Archive for the 'God and the Bible' Category

Morning Prayer?

Published
by
Josh Kim
on February 6, 2007
in Asides and God and the Bible
. 0 Comments

I’m really not sure about actually going IN to morning prayer. If I had people to pray with, I’d definitely go in… but going alone… doesn’t really seem like there’s anything else to it.

But truly, getting up early in the morning to pray and to read the Bible… definitely one of the most incredible feelings afterwards.

Wednesdays, I’ll go in, since it’s small group day… but other than that, I guess I’ll continue my routine. And yesterday, I found out I just couldn’t find parking… so there goes that early WIMPE idea.

Meh.

Current Status

Published
by
Josh Kim
on January 22, 2007
in God and the Bible
. 0 Comments

I prayed for growth. I did. In all areas… I prayed for growth.

But I forgot again how painful and extremely difficult growth can be.

I had a very nice talk with an older brother in Christ, Danny Kim, yesterday night. He listened and helped me recognize many deep-rooted problems I have. I’ll share the most important.

Control. You see… even through hard work, even through time, even through emotional investments… sometimes things just don’t work out. Relationships don’t. No matter how careful I was… the relationships just didn’t.

I wasn’t happy with the outcome, so I kept trying… refusing to give up on myself. Wow, look at that selfishness.

But who am I to do that? No matter how noble the cause might have been, this is that Perfectionistic Josh Kim returning to bat.

2 Peter 1:5-11 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is near-sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Therefore my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This verse could not have come at a better time. I have a somewhat strong faith, I have some goodness (or good intentions… maybe kinda… sorta…), I have just a tiny bit of knowledge… but this is where the conditional statements stop applying to me. It’s seems like it’s one costly battle after another… and all the way at top of the mountain is love. Oh, how unproductive I’ve become because these relationships have hit me so hard.

Today’s a little different though. I’ve begun to keep crawling. I know for a fact… through faith… that this will all come to pass. These feelings of anxiety, depression… slight anger and frustration… all will come to pass.

Faith. Goodness. Knowledge. Self-control. Perseverance. Godliness. Brotherly kindness. Love

All I can do now is pray about them.

God… if this were to have happened last year… oh man, that would have been an interesting hole.

Lack of Understanding?

Published
by
Josh Kim
on January 15, 2007
in God and the Bible
. 1 Comment

I was waiting for the day when I could say this:

I think I’m reading the Bible too much.

I feel like I can’t stop it.

But still… I can’t stop sinning.

I accidentally thought that I would become a better Christian just by reading and reading.

Maybe the words aren’t staying in my heart… or I’m just reading the words like nothing.

Should I start memorizing again? Yet ANOTHER thing to add on the list of things to do? Oyez… another text file containing lots of little verses? I guess I could put it into a TextMate project…

Well… I should be typing out my quiet times anyway.

But seriously, am I using the Bible as a means to escape actually solving anything? Is that possible?

I guess it’s better than not reading… but man, I hate being inefficient.

Must not give way to complacency… always fighting? I’m tired as it is… but strength comes from somewhere not within.

Must not give way to normalcy… making lists, and crossing things off…

Why is this so hard? Someone come knock some sense into me. Anyone?

Pray and pray and pray… and yet, things of this world continue to harass and confuse me.

Ugh. Holy frustration is still… frustration. It’s not fun at all.

But to depend… but to keep up my faith…

God, help me to focus. Give me focus and more focus. Focus in work, people, life.

Proverbs 2:5-6

Published
by
Josh Kim
on January 14, 2007
in God and the Bible
. 0 Comments

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Going through proverbs has been amazing. More about wisdom… and how much I need to respect and fear God which comes naturally with humility.

I get quite frustrated at my faults. I don’t like how “sin” can be something I can cross off my list of things. No matter how many times I cross it off, it seems like the line either disappears or I wasn’t using a thick enough pen. It discourages me… it makes me want to get a thicker pen.

But you see, as long as we fight… but I feel like I’m not fighting enough… my hearts in it, but I’m just not going the extra mile.

It seems like when the storm hits, I feel happy. For some reason, I’m hanging onto the Word a lot stronger than before… and I don’t run away from the problems as much. Rather than thinking back to only those sermons and small group Bible studies and random talks with people and my own understanding, I’m going to the Source of it all.

Need to keep fighting. Need to keep searching. Need to keep growing.

Even though it seems like the journey is like a bazillion miles long. The wait, the goal, even the journey, is well worth it.

Hebrews 4

Published
by
Josh Kim
on December 2, 2006
in Asides and God and the Bible
. 0 Comments

v 15, 16 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

When I think of Jesus, I still cannot see Him being temped with the same things I’m tempted with. For some reason, the specifics of my sin just doesn’t match up… I know he was tempted, just like any human being, but he wasn’t able to sin…

I just can’t see Jesus being lazy. I can’t even see Jesus being hungry… even know I know he fasted for 40 days. For some reason, it has never hit me so hard until now… Jesus, did you really get tempted in the ways I get tempted now? I find it almost impossible… but he endured it, and was a stunning example of how we should all be… not just bottling it in, but truly understanding the temptation, and even, using it to help others that are tempted in that same way.

Every day is my time of need. Every day I must seek his grace and mercy… EVERY DAY.

Application: I don’t know why, but I’ve been trying to go through a page out of my Hanja workbook every day. It seems that that has become more important than opening up the Word. I’m going to not touch that Hanja book until I finish one of these posts, and pray through it. Hopefully, I can do so in the mornings… morning QTs seem like more effective, since the lesson is more fresh in your head.

I guess I should try to get up even earlier than 9. If I could force myself to leave the library at 12, and go to bed at 1… and get 6 to 7 hours of sleep, and wake up at around 7…

Prayer Request: I still have NO clue as to if I should stay on campus. As money problems become more and more apparent, it would be best to reduce the cost of living by moving back… but really, I would love to continue to interface with the people here in IL and return to playing a larger role with the church. I need to look to the core of the matter, rather than just being back and forth listing out pros and cons. Please pray that I’ll be able to hear God’s wisdom through it all…

Also, next client. I was able to secure my first client, thank God. But now, after that’s done, where to go? The life of a freelancer is tough, what can I say…