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	<title>joshkim.org &#187; datemodifedforawesomness</title>
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	<link>http://joshkim.org</link>
	<description>Be Awesome Instead // Essays by Josh Kim</description>
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		<title>Screw It, Here It Goes</title>
		<link>http://joshkim.org/2008/07/06/screw-it-here-it-goes/</link>
		<comments>http://joshkim.org/2008/07/06/screw-it-here-it-goes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:59:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>joshkim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Video Games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[datemodifedforawesomness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fallout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[past]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[return 2.0]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rock band]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tf2]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wii]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://joshkim.org/2008/07/06/screw-it-here-it-goes/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hello? What the heck? Who is this? Yeah, I know. It&#8217;s been a while. While I have been developing a backlog of things to write about here on this blog, I&#8217;ve also been occupied with&#8230; okay, I won&#8217;t lie: Video &#8230; <a href="http://joshkim.org/2008/07/06/screw-it-here-it-goes/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4>Hello? What the heck? Who is this?</h4>

<p>Yeah, I know. It&#8217;s been a while.</p>

<p>While I have been developing a backlog of things to write about here on this blog, I&#8217;ve also been occupied with&#8230; okay, I won&#8217;t lie: Video Games.</p>

<h4>A Three-pronged Attack on My Free Time</h4>

<p>Across three &#8220;systems&#8221; (Wii, Mac, and PC), the attacks are as follows:</p>

<p>For the Wii, it&#8217;s been Rock Band. Horribly gimped. Definitely not worth the $180, in respect to the downloadable content-laden and better graphic&#8217;ed Xbox 360 and PS3 versions. (I would have bought it for cheaper gladly. Instead, I just bought it with lots of bitterness.) I still ended up going for the full set, because I know for a fact I&#8217;ll be selling it as soon as I master the drums in this game. I had a feeling it&#8217;ll sell better as a full set. Plus, I kinda wanted people to play with me anyway. Oh, and thirdly, I want to sing and play a plastic instrument at the same time. I feel like that&#8217;ll be yet another extreme and exciting challenge, let alone, hilarious for the onlookers. (Yes, I even bought a microphone stand. Yes, I&#8217;m insane.) I&#8217;m probably going to get Guitar Hero World Tour anyway, if I keep the Wii, that is.</p>

<p>On the Mac, it was Fallout. This game, my goodness, is amazing. Who would have thunk a post-apocalyptic world would be so much fun? I cannot believe I missed out on it during my middle school years. I guess back then, my life was too consumed with StarCraft to be messing with other games.</p>

<p>I ended up installing Boot Camp for one single purpose: Orange Box. Specifically, Team Fortress 2. It has consumed any free time I&#8217;ve had in the past couple of weeks. Steam will tell the truth. I think reaching a Steam rating of <a href="http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197999369620/home">10 &#8211; EAGLES SCREAM!</a> means someting&#8230; 36.6 HOURS? Expect this number to go up as I play through Half Life 2. With TF2, going through enough achievements to get to all the new weapon upgrades was very enjoyable.</p>

<p>Of course, installing Windows opens myself up to all these games that I didn&#8217;t even think about playing. Also, it opens myself up to wanting better hardware to run everything oh-so pretty. Too bad the iMac isn&#8217;t really up to the challenge in this area&#8230; (even if I go up to the 24&#8243;)</p>

<p>Sidenote: Where did my Air go? Sold it. Long story short: I didn&#8217;t see the value in being mobile anymore.</p>

<h4>The State of the Blog Address Post</h4>

<p>I&#8217;ve been experimenting with a little app called <a href="http://chyrp.net/" title="Chyrp">Chyrp</a>. For awhile, Twitter filled my desire of posting short status updates and other interesting links. However, plagued by downtimes and other issues, I decided to start looking for some distributed or self-hosted alternatives. While I will continue to use Twitter to follow the heavy hitters and as a tool to supplement the blogging insanity, I have a feeling my traffic will die down. Actually, It&#8217;s been happening.</p>

<p><img src="http://joshkim.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/twitter-stats.png" alt="Twitter Stats" /></p>

<p>As I started to use Chyrp more and more this weekend, I feel as though it&#8217;s got a lot of potential. I just don&#8217;t see myself fiddling with any blogging platform for too much: I want the darn thing to work out of the box, as advertised, with very little, if not, <em>no</em> programming intervention. Is this too hard to ask? Yes, I&#8217;m a lazy programmer who&#8217;d rather be just a little bit less lazy about his own projects.</p>

<h4>A New Deadline?</h4>

<p>I kinda had a feeling this was going to happen this weekend. I took off the day on Monday due to a possible trip to Philly. After that got cancelled, I had four days ahead of me to create The World&#8217;s Next Best Thing (TWNBT, as some refer to it). However, not a whole lot happened. A LOT OF FREAKING GAMES happened.</p>

<p>But somehow, I found enough time between the TF2 and the Rock Band to write this slightly coherent update. Oh, there&#8217;s even more I could write about.</p>

<h4>Status of Health</h4>

<p>Quickie, because I don&#8217;t want to seem weak to everyone when I freaking have to go through my condition.</p>

<ul>
<li>Weird sleeping issues

<ul>
<li>I&#8217;ve woken up in the middle of the night twice, at around 6:30. Randomly. I still don&#8217;t know why this happened.</li>
<li>These days, I feel really really tired. Could it be the lack of exercise? Could it be something even worse?</li>
<li>Takeaway: Start exercising to see if it&#8217;s some other problem.</li>
</ul></li>
<li>Excruciating eye soreness

<ul>
<li>This started very recently. I might need to see a doctor, but chances are, it&#8217;s the <strong>36.6</strong> hours of gaming after the day job I do in front of a monitor. It might be the TV shows/Movies I see on the iMac.</li>
<li>I need to pick a day and not use the computer at all.</li>
<li>Okay, maybe a bit extreme. More on this later in the goal making section.</li>
</ul></li>
<li>Wrists

<ul>
<li>Overuse? Maybe. A month ago, I was given a set of harder braces to use. Kinda hurts <em>more</em> to use while I type because it restricts the natural way I use my pinky and ring finger to type. Also, I was told to take Alleve twice a day&#8230; really didn&#8217;t do much.</li>
<li>Once again, I need to start taking huge breaks. HUGE breaks. I&#8217;m not sure what I can do that doesn&#8217;t require the wrists&#8230; I guess I could start back up on the Korean Hanja/Japanese insanity.</li>
<li>This is probably reason #2 as to why I don&#8217;t blog as much anymore.</li>
</ul></li>
<li>Ribs (Fibromyalgia)

<ul>
<li>No doctor has figured this out. The soreness/tenderness all across my lower rib cage. Some thought enlarged liver after the sonogram, but after the CT scan, some idiot lab technician was found wrong. I had a MRI of the brain to see if all of this could maybe possible be caused by MS. Came back negative.</li>
<li>I guess this is good news, although still no one knows what&#8217;s wrong with me&#8230;</li>
</ul></li>
<li>Ankles

<ul>
<li>Feels a lot better. Physical Therapy worked. There&#8217;s still some residual pain on the outside of the soles and ankles, but it might be from actively correcting my gait. Hope I don&#8217;t have to see the podiatrist anymore. I&#8217;ll give it a week for my ankles to be awesome again.</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>

<h4>Overall Takeaway From My Health Issues and EVERYTHING else in the past couple months AKA Goals</h4>

<p>I&#8217;ve  miss making goals. I&#8217;ve gotten weaker in character, not being able to follow through with a whole lot of things I&#8217;ve been wanting to accomplish. I&#8217;ve let past (uh oh, this is where it gets kinda dramatic. RUN. RUN! He&#8217;s opening the &#8220;past&#8221; folder) things muck up the present. Actually, it really hasn&#8217;t. You know what, now that I think about it, I look to the past mistakes as awesome. Or wait, am I just soothing myself?</p>

<p>And&#8230;. Scene.</p>

<p>That kind of thinking gets me nowhere. I feel like my gift of memorizing things is quickly fading. Sometimes, two people will tell me I&#8217;ve said something that I completely do not remember saying. This has almost <em>never</em> happened before.</p>

<p>Is there an eraser in my head? (For those of you that got this reference, have a cookie.)</p>

<p>But really: I&#8217;m kinda sick and tired of old-me. New-me kinda wants to kick old-me in the face with the Awesomedary Boots.</p>

<h4>One Small Sidenote: Becoming Someone Else Who I&#8217;m Not</h4>

<p>It&#8217;s kinda hard to define who you are. Do you do it with respect to others? Or do you not care at all about what people think, and just make you <em>you</em>?</p>

<p>For some reason, I&#8217;m like an electron (fermions) in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pauli_exclusion_principle" title="Pauli exclusion principle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia">Pauli Exclusion Principle</a>. Like a 0 or a 1 (dang it, I keep thinking about the Gary Winston speech from Anti-Trust), I cannot have that widely- and socially-accepted view on this matter.</p>

<p>Actually, let&#8217;s bust out the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty_principle" title="Uncertainty principle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia">Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle</a>. Actually, let&#8217;s not. I&#8217;m boring myself, even.</p>

<p>Back to the point of this sidenote: I&#8217;m in the state of not caring about anyone else. Or at least, a very few people very very passionately. Much more so than any stage of my life, I bet if I let one extremely respectable and <em>legendary</em> person into my life, I could end up doing their bidding. And because I said this publicly, I&#8217;m going to end up going the opposite way.</p>

<p>The JK way is to always keep them surprised: I cannot stress how much I have to continue to innovate <em>myself</em>. I cannot be. I have to keep moving. If I am just existing, I might as well not exist. I have to create.</p>

<p>I have to punch someone in the face. I have to love someone to death.</p>

<p>With all these lists, &#8220;How To&#8221; guides, and massive trivia in my head, I hope to live life and experience something new each and everyday. I say this, but I have a feeling none of my past experiences will amount to jack squat in the future. I say that, but I have a feeling it&#8217;ll all come together and make sense in the end.</p>

<p>DANG IT, STOP IT WITH YOUR CIRCLES.</p>

<p>And&#8230; Scene.</p>

<h4>I&#8217;m totally not editing that last section. I&#8217;m not even going to look at it anymore.</h4>

<p>Yeah. That last section was the insanity that&#8217;s brewing in my head every freaking single day.</p>

<p>I feel like occupying my CPU with actual work is better than all having all those JMPs muck up the pipelines. Which leads into one of the many goals I&#8217;m going to be making.</p>

<ul>
<li>GOAL: Stay off the information firehose that is the Internet.

<ul>
<li>AIM. Twitter. Even Feeds. (Phone? Heck, I rarely use that crap these days.) These sources of constant communication just eats up my time. No: I am not a freaking processor: I do not multitask.</li>
<li>I will set a block of time to do all of this. Which means&#8230; I will probably be behind on the news.</li>
<li>SIDENOTE: Need to talk about how I get offended if people bring me news I already know or link me to something I&#8217;ve already read and how this offense is completely retarded on my part but how I can&#8217;t deal with it.</li>
</ul></li>
<li>GOAL: Back to 145-ish lbs.

<ul>
<li>You won&#8217;t believe the gut that I&#8217;m currently sporting. I took a picture of it, so that when I become awesome again, I&#8217;ll be able to use it as a reminder to never <em>ever</em> go on fast-food laden WoW binges again. I don&#8217;t blame WoW, but I blame the eating out.</li>
<li>Back to cooking, a <em>lot</em>. I enjoy it, and it&#8217;s an art form I&#8217;d like to master. It&#8217;ll be another way to rest my aching body.</li>
<li>Will need to go grocery shopping weekly. I mean, <em>weekly</em>. And probably will have to up my equipment a bit.</li>
<li>The gym daily? Maybe pushing it, but starting today, the routine begins again. Biking sucks, but ankles will have to get better.</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>

<p>SIDENOTE: Wow, I feel like I&#8217;m in the zone again. You know, that zone I was in when I had my last blogging explosion. Gotta keep going. Bawls, keep me awake and my cornea blood vessels enlarge so it doesn&#8217;t hurt as much.</p>

<ul>
<li>GOAL: TWNBT announced on the 8th. Probably gadgetget. Maybe not.

<ul>
<li>Come on. You&#8217;re supposedly not going to Business School. Make sure of this by making the doubt about making the right choice nonexistent.</li>
<li>Will require only a couple of hours each night.</li>
<li>DO NOT GO EXTREME. Or even, think about going extreme. Extremeness will come with awesomeness.</li>
<li>Extremeness in moderation? Is this a T-shirt?</li>
<li>Need to start chronicling this. Blog? What am I doing with WordPress?</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>

<p>That&#8217;s all: Stop Multitasking. Focus on Health. Go Be Awesome.</p>

<ul>
<li>GOAL: And blog all of it. ALL OF IT. Keep yourself accountable to the world. Or at least, for the poor people that read this mess.

<ul>
<li>Seriously, what are you still doing here? Hehe.</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>

<p>Thanks for taking the time to read through this ridiculously long post. I guess I&#8217;m posting this on the 6th of July CST. This date means nothing to me.</p>

<p>And so, it begins. The Legend of Josh Kim.</p>
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