I can’t really explain the need to track things. For some reason, I’d like to come back to the time when I didn’t know anything about web development and watch the whole process of me becoming better. I guess I want to sell books on it or something.

These past couple of days, I’ve turned it down as much as I can. I just went and did it. I went and starting futzing around with the server, trying to become better at being a sysadmin.

I just did stuff. And the scary thing is, I don’t remember exactly, command by command, thought by thought, what I did. In the end, I got a working server out of it, with a blog that’s running much faster than before.

Looking back, I’m realizing that I really should have kept just a little bit more track of things, but really, the more important thing, and by far the more important thing, is that I got something done.

The Need to Learn

Not only is depth of knowledge important, so is the breadth. It’s kinda like going through Wikipedia, jumping from one article to another. I think it’s almost tied down to the desire to track, because after all, I strive to learn from mistakes.

While I was going at it with my sysadmin-ness, there were many places where I could have gotten off track and spent time doing something else. Even… “learning” to blog more consistently. But nope, I kept it quiet.

It’s the need to stay free flowing, in other words. But I need to learn to focus at times when I need to. And that time is now.

The Need to Perfect

The problem here is that I tend to sand away at knicks and corners until I don’t even have a product anymore. Well, I guess at that point I have to adapt and sell the remains.

But seriously, this entire HanMeta business took me so long because I wanted to have it all “correct” the first time. The funny thing is, I still don’t know what “correct” is. It was stupid of me to try and create this perfect company without actually building a company.

This goes back to failures in StatusFix also. The need to have that perfect process to make sure that all of my friends were developing code in perfect harmony… useless.

The fact is to produce something awesome, not perfect.

So Now What?

This doing business is much more fun than I could have imagined. It’s also ridiculously difficult and annoying.

I have much more to do. Just keep watching.

But less thinking and planning: Here’s the down low. Period.

I need to start somewhere. Instead of thinking about creating huge companies and changing the world, I gotta start with the essentials. For starters, I have to be able to not worry about money. Not that money is a problem right now… but… a “job”, perhaps?

But I don’t mean about getting any job. I need to make that impact, regardless of what I do. Holding out for that perfect job isn’t too bad, as long as your belief in finding that dream job is the truth. And I believe it to be true.

In reality, what will probably happen is as time passes and needs are found, the standard of that “perfect” job changes to something not as desirable. For me, that hasn’t happened yet. I’m still in that problematic phase of thinking I can get what I want in life. I haven’t become jaded… yet.

No matter how much I want to change the world, my personal “stuff” need to be in line.

Why the heck do I post this? I could have easily just made a mental note of this.

Well, being Josh Kim, I gotta track changes.

Think of most of my personal posts as:

svn commit currentDate.txt -m "Post Text Goes Here"

(I’m sure I’m going to get some nerdy comments as to why this isn’t correct, but I’ll try to explain myself if those people show themselves…)

I don’t know why it took Michael Moore’s film “SiCKO” to help me get to this state of wanting to slow down while speeding up.

On paper, it might seem like I have no idea where I’m headed. On the contrary, this enigmatic post has helped me even more…

But, yes. Enough is enough. Time to kick some ass.